As a sex therapist, I recommend lubricant to almost everyone. Lubricant can decrease friction, reduce discomfort, support arousal, and often increase pleasure. Even people who produce plenty of natural lubrication often report that sex feels smoother, more comfortable, and more pleasurable with added lube. Choosing the right lubricant can feel confusing because there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Bodies, skin sensitivities, hormones, microbiomes, medications, and preferences all vary. What...

The Shame Survivors Carry As a clinician specializing in sex therapy and trauma therapy, I work with many survivors of sexual assault. One of the most common and painful themes I see in my practice is the deep shame survivors carry around their survival responses. Because we live in a deeply victim-blaming culture, survivors are constantly exposed to messages that suggest they should have fought harder, screamed louder, left sooner, or somehow prevented what happened. What the Research Shows...

While sex can be one expression of intimacy, it is not the definition of it. Intimacy is about closeness, connection, safety, play, vulnerability, and being known—emotionally and physically—in ways that don’t require sexual access. And this distinction matters, especially in seasons when sex doesn’t feel accessible. Maybe there’s stress, illness, parenting demands, mental health struggles, trauma, or simply a mismatch in desire. Maybe your body says “not right now,” even if your heart still...